Bad and back

I used to go to the gym everyday. I used to post a note on my blog almost everyday. I used to be positive. I used to visualize the goals I wanted to achieve like a path in the mountains: hard, beautiful, meaningful. All these things – and some others – have gone away some day between may and june 2013. Why? Did I lose hope? Did I lose my inner strenght?

No, nothing like that. I lost nothing. On the contrary, I found a very old friend of mine: fear. What are you telling me? You know fear too? Oh, the world it’s getting smaller every day! But, let me see, do you mean that Fear, the cousin of Low Self-Esteem? Because I mean that kind of Fear. In May 2013 a big project in which I was involved was suspended and I reacted with… nothing. Ok, let me be more accurate: I started waiting. I waited for another project to come. I waited for the muscle ache to pass. I waited some news and some new joy to arrive by itself. I waited. The result was that nothing came at all and that I lost hope and strength.

Then a friend gave me a hint: why don’t you finish that old erotic novel you started so far?

I answered: Why not? It’s an easy work for me to do. I’ve done something like this before! Forthermore, that specific story is so silly and humorous and fun that it could be a cure for my blues!

Then I took my old notes, the work yet done and wrote down all the adventures of my silly protagonist in her silly and erotic fantasy world. At the end of November 2013 the work was done. And then? Once again I started to wait. Wait the opinion of someone. Wait the time to be right. Wait what?  A new golden down? A rain of marshmallows? The ultimate cure to cellulite?

I don’t know. I was always sad and blue and I hated that mood. I had to move on. My man told me that he missed me. He missed the active and lively me that never gives up.

Then I faced my dear old friend Fear and I told her*: “The only thing that I want to do in my life is writing. I cannot avoid this simple truth anymore so… do what you want but I’ll do my best to write in videogame industry and to publish my little stories

Then I did three things: I updated my CV and sent it. I contacted some literary agents and sent them my silly erotic novel. And after all this… I went to the gym! I missed so much the energy that comes only through pain and fatigue! I’m alive again! And I’m also bad. Stay away Miss Fear: I’m back and I’m bad!

*My mother language is Italian and in Italian Fear is a She

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Bad and back

Add yours

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑

obsidianmirrorblog

A blog about writing fantasy fiction. And other stuff.

My Literary Quest

All things writing from an emerging novelist

A Small Wardrobe

Minimalism of the wardrobe, home and mind.

Pushing Ahead of the Dame

David Bowie, song by song

How to Be a Stoic

an evolving guide to practical Stoicism for the 21st century

Friendly Humanist

Trying to live by compassion and reason - thoughts on the journey

newbieminimalist

exploring minimalism in the UK

koolkosherkitchen

Welcome to my Kool Kosher Kitchen where food is fun and fun is to create food!

anotherdayinparadise

Travels in Paradise

Extra Life

Independent opinions on video games and films

Downtime

Rest Here - Home for video game content and Downtime Podcast

Eirik Jeistad

Fotograf | Galleri | Kurs

busy mockingbird

a messy collection of art projects, crafts, and various random things...

Healingtheworkplace's Weblog

Blogging about the workplace in the twenty-first century

Bunny Eats Design

Happy things, tasty food and good design

Yomuka!

Japanese translations about crusty old games we all still love!

%d bloggers like this: