Really, you can’t always win. Sooner or later you have to fail.
Actually, I failed the past week and I am failing even more blatantly this week. I missed a lot of ticks on my to-do-list. I don’t think you want to know all the details. Do you?
- I didn’t use my bicycle every day. I rode my bicycle once in an entire week.
- I started to do facial yoga only today. Yes, it is rather hilarious.
- I skipped meditation for two days straight. Yes, your honour, I did it. How was it possible? Laziness. Yes, I did find some interesting meditation scripts to meditate without using any app and… I did not print them nor read them at all. I started to meditate again this Tuesday, using the web application.
- I didn’t write 1000 words a day. I don’t remember if I had posted this goal, but I remember having and missing it. Stephen Kings, with his 10.000 words a day, would ask me if I really think I can call me a writer. Ernest Hemingway, no more than 500 well-weighted words a morning, would be shrugging his shoulders.
Still, I am rather pleased with myself. I failed with grace.
- I didn’t cry. I used to.
- I didn’t overeat to compensate/punish my self-confidence.
- I didn’t stop my work completely: Wednesday’s chapter is out there on The Charming Cookie Jar and Friday’s illustration is ready to go.
What I am trying to say is that failure is alright. It is a fantastic instrument to measure your ambitions, your strength and to check your path. Sometimes you have been too soft with yourself and sometimes you have been too hard. In any case, don’t be harsh.
I used to be a practising perfectionist and I am trying to quit. If I haven’t done all that I have planned, in the manner that I have planned, I wasn’t satisfied. You see, sometimes I stopped in the middle of a long and complex process to say myself that it wasn’t perfect and I have to start again from scratch or to stop it completely. Or to cry out of frustration.
It took me almost forty years to understand that perfectionism is bad and failure is good. Or, at least, not so bad as I’ve thought. Failure is a thing, a fact, your reaction is what makes failure an unbearable sin or a useful tool. So, the past week I failed. I told everyone: “move on, improve yourself!” and laughed at my failure. I was a fraud. Or maybe I wasn’t.
And you? Have you failed recently? Did you cope? In the meanwhile, thank you for your precious time.