Sometimes it is hard to let go of things you think you need and it is even harder to let go of thoughts you think you need. The thoughts I find hardest to let go are the ones I use to define myself. Things like: “I don’t like these things”, “I don’t dress that way”, and even more “I’ll never be able to do that”. I use a lot of thoughts to define myself. I have a four season wardrobe of those thoughts, lots of complete sets for all seasons, occasions and impossible possibilities.
Right now I am smiling thinking about the silliness of it. I try to say myself that even if I used to act in a certain way, that way of doing does not define me. I’ve acted this way numerous times but this does not mean that I am going to act that way now. Could it be that I will behave that way again? I was going to answer “maybe” but a better answer is “the future is not my problem”. As a matter of fact, I can act only in the present. You can act only in the present. I am smiling again. It is like if a part of me was watching me from above my shoulder. This part of me is looking at me with tenderness and understanding, therefore, she smiles.
I was rather angry and unsatisfied with myself until the very moment I started to write this post. Now I feel that all this morning and early afternoon of poor creativity and sadness is useful to me. It’s a reminder of what happens when I try to escape the moment, the present. When I sit at my desk browsing the four season wardrobe of defining thoughts. I know I can’t get rid of it once and for all but maybe I can put on his doors a mirror to reflect myself and help that part of me that looks above my shoulder and smiles to link me to the present moment. I can use that mirror to watch myself thinking, to observe my thoughts as fleeting clouds in a clear blue sky.
You can do it as well. I mean, watching at yourself thinking. I think it’s the better way to simplify your life. Before you start reading all the self-help books in the library, before subscribing a yoga class, before getting rid of everything in your house that don’t spark joy, before any sudden decision, simplify your life by lurking over your shoulder with curiosity. I’ve done it five minutes ago and the moodiness I was feeling melted away. I have to admit, I have also followed a suggestion from a nice blog I enjoy following. Click here to read their short and inspiring post, in the meanwhile, I would be very pleased if you leave here a comment. Thank you for your precious time.