Too much

Hi, guys! I dedicate this post to the things that I realised I had too much of. Can you relate to this?

I’ve worried too much about my hair. In the end, it’s just hair. So I think I’m going to let it be and live my life without thinking too much about it. Sometimes, it happens to me to focus on a thing (a part of my present life, of my past, of my body, of my mind) and decide that I have to solve it, to perfect it, to fix it in some way. I get stuck thinking about that thing and I take the worst decisions about it, while at the same time I forget about more important things, like taking pleasure from what currently works. Does it happen to you too?

I felt for too long the pressure to be creative and earning a living from my creativity. I felt like I had a sort of imperative, a sign placed above my head telling: “If you have a talent, you must put it to fruit!”. Sometimes it was something silly, like: “You can’t be happy with a menial job!” Sorry, but actually I can. I work in a store, I am a simple sales advisor and, so long, it has been a nice and fulfilling experience. Every day I go there, I look at what are my mansions for the day, I carry out them, I help the customers, I talk with my colleagues, I learn something new, and then I say bye to everyone and come back to my home leaving every job worry at my job place. It’s refreshing. You can be happy with a simple life and simple job, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

I’ve paid too much attention at how other people express their creativity and I’ve tried too much to feel good imitating them. I think you already know how it goes: if you consider yourself a writer, you must write a novel. If you want to be published, you must write into this genre. If you want to get readers, you have to grow an audience through social media networking, through your blog, your Facebook, your Tumblr, your Instagram, your NewHype. I don’t care. No more. I felt obliged for so long to adhere to this scheme that anytime I seated at my desk I felt at the same time frustrated and guilty. It turned my moments of creativity into a prison. I felt obliged to express myself with a voice that is not mine and I wrote a novel that I don’t like. I used to find all the possible excuses to not promote it, to not translate it into English, and, in the end, I stopped writing fiction entirely. As always, you can express the solution in a stupidly simple way: if you don’t feel like doing it, don’t. But one of the pieces of advice you find the most around the Internet is also “go out of your comfort zone”. So, how do you distinguish between something that is simply out of your comfort zone and something that doesn’t work for you? That’s not easily said. Maybe you should give it a try and see for yourself and then… trust your guts.

Is there something more? Yes! I’ve talked too much about myself, I think I’m going to do it a little less after this post 😉 And you? There is something that you think you had too much of? Would you like to share it? In the meanwhile, as always, thank you for your precious time.

8 thoughts on “Too much

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    1. One day, when my husband was ten, the teacher asked his classroom: “What does the heart?” The children started to answer with enthusiasm: “the heart makes you love mum and dad”, “the heart makes you feel love for the puppies”, “the heart makes you a good boy or girl”…
      When my husband’s turn came, he stood up, looked at his classmates in frustration, and said: “the heart pumps the blood”.
      Unless you have a medical condition, your heart is never too much. Don’t be afraid to love, even when you think your love has gone wasted. Those are expectations and illusions talking, but to love is fantastic per se and it never goes wasted. At least, that’s what I think 😉

  1. This is a sound and positive and important piece of writing. We do worry too much, I know I do. The moment of creation is the most important thing. We must try to live in and for that moment. My daughter’s Grade 8 class was asked: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Answers varied: truck driver, surgeon, dentist, doctor, professor. When it came to my daughter she said “I just want to be myself.” So few people achieve that tiny little thing. Your piece sets us well on the road to doing so. Thank you.

    1. Thank you for your comment 🙂 I think your daughter was pretty great already in Grade 8! Sometimes we get stuck so much in definitions of ourselves that we forget they are just labels, meant to be temporary, cheap and absolutely not exhaustive. Have a great week 🙂

  2. Yes, that’s not easy to distinguish what is out of your comfort zone and what doesn’t work for you. I agree with you that you should give it to try. And then you can see, if you want to do it or you don’t. But then it’s important not to feel quilty if you quit.

    And about the pressure. I have subscribed so many great artists and art pages in Facebook. But one day I just thought: enough and I deleted some of these pages, because everyday when I went to Facebook there were so many gorgeous artworks and many stories about artist and photograpers who work when travelling and work from home and so one, that I felt frustrated with my own work and life. I admit that some of this pressure is good because it keeps me going, but there was just too much of it. I love my life and I don’t want to ruin it by feeling like I’m not so good as others. I am drawing because I love drawing, not because I must become the greatist artist in the whole world. And I can’t live like everyone else. I can pick only one way. The societal pressure and the pressure we put ourselves rob the enjoyment and fun from our activities. Like we are always hurry to reach some point. Only that there is no point or top or climax in life. Life is not a movie and if we are not living here and now, we are not living at all. So, I decided if I want to be happy it’s important to enjoy every moment and everything I do just now. Maybe I’ll achieve something one day, maybe I’ll not, but if I live happy life, then it’s already success.

    And again, sorry for long comment. 😀

    Cheers 🙂

    1. I love your comments, Hanna and most of everything I love the passion you put in writing them 👍🏻 😊 I quote you: “there is no point or top or climax in life” wise words 😎 Thanks for your comment, Hanna. I love your visits to my humble blog. Have a terrific weekend 😘 😘 😘

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