It gets easier, but you have to do it every day

Maybe there’s nothing more to add. The title says it all: it gets easier, but you have to do it every day.

Following a healthy and active lifestyle gets easier day after day, but you have to stay on the line every day. (–> Note for Nina: follow more strictly the FIIT meal plan)

Speaking a language that it’s not the one you learn in your childhood gets easier day after day, but you have to do it every day. (–> Note for Nina: ok, it still feels as natural as wearing gloves all the time. But it will get better.)

Leaving your fearful and always self-doubting self behind gets easier day after… well, I suppose, it gets easier day after day, but you have to stretch out of your comfort zone every day and I must confess that my muscle fell sore like after my very first workout. I’m aware that I’m not putting myself “out there”.

You all know the metaphor of the little voice in your head that tells you you are worthless. Well, sometimes you are not dueling with something as recognizable as a little mean voice inside your head. Most of the times, I don’t hear a voice telling me that I can’t do this or that, I simply can’t see the options. Sometimes my husband gets frustrated with me because he still thinks that telling me how much he loves me and listing all my qualities would be enough. Well, it’s not. It’s not even up to him to make me happy. But I love him for trying so hard. Seeing his struggles pushes me to do more.  But nothing is ever enough forever.

He tells me nice things and I thank him but that’s all. Because the battle is mine.

Nice things happen to me and I am grateful and the unhappiness is quiet for that day, but that’s all. Because every day is a new battle. Because the war will end with my death.

I don’t mean to sound tragic. It’s just what it is.

No event in my life has been or will be so transformative to allow me to put down the fight once and for all. Nobody conquers happiness for the rest of their life. Don’t believe that promise. You can armour better, you can gain supporters and it could get easier but it won’t end.

In a way, this thought should console you.

Just think, you don’t have to do something big. You don’t have to wait for something big to happen. You can do something small today. And tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after… you know the gig.

And, in the meanwhile, you can develop some compassion. I promise that, if you can see that the people around are fighting a battle not much different from your own, and develop some compassion for them, you will forgive more yourself as well. I don’t mean that you’ll become self-indulgent but that you’ll start torturing yourself a little less.

Ok, now I’ll stop the preaching and go to bed. I put myself at the desk to write down some notes, maybe to whine a little and look here… I’m behind a pulpit. In my PJs!

Good night/good morning everybody,

Nina

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9 thoughts on “It gets easier, but you have to do it every day

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  1. Hi Annarosa. How have you been? I’m glad to see there are some creative elements associated with your job description. That the software you’re designing taps into one of your favorite genres has got to be a blast. It’s great that you’re still health and fitness conscious, too!

    Geeze… it’s been way too long since we last talked. I owe you an apology because this is my fault. While I still blog fairly regularly, I usually stick around WordPress only long enough to copy word documents, paste and post. TTYL… uh… correction… I’ll try to make that sooner… not later!

    1. Hi Tom, and thanks for the visit 🙂
      How have I been? Well… fine. I’ve been fine and at the same time a little off (?) It’s like every time I am employed in a non-creative or non-writing job my creative juices run dry. So, while I was fine working at the store, I found increasingly hard to write. I am still mainly working at the store, but the game project lately has been revitalized so I am here trying to be creative again.

      Also, you don’t need to apologize. At least, you’ve been posting regularly! I almost completely deserted my blog! 😀 Let’s see if I can make it a new habit of posting more regularly so that starting a conversation gets easier. Let’s see. I could start with one post a month and work with that. Thank you, Tom, for stopping by and chatting a little. It’s like seeing a little boat from afar after months of clear, empty waves. See you soon 🙂

      1. How wonderful that we managed to spotted each other adrift upon the www ocean. I can certainly identify with how the work-a-day world can sap us of our time and creativity. As for how I’m doing? Well, let’s just say that life isn’t always smooth sailing and my life is no different. Interestingly enough… for the past several days I’ve been blogging on this very topic so… at the risk of sounding perhaps a bit too dramatic and cryptic… stay tuned.

  2. Just wow, Nina! Every bit of this post is like a pure gold. It’s like this fairy tale, where there was a girl and when she spoke then the golden eggs fell from her mouth. But with you, it’s when you write. 🙂

      1. I really mean it, Nina. I love the way you write. And don’t worry, two days are not long, I sometimes don’t reply two months (and sometimes I forgot to reply at all, which isn’t very nice from me :/).

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